Does Size Matter? Dating in Big City vs. Dating Small City

One of the reasons people gravitate to big cities like New York is because they feel their dating prospects will increase. The answer I can give you that question is Yes! Yes, if you move to a large city like New York your dating life can increase. I am not telling that once you move here men/women/whatever your into will be throwing themselves at you, but lets just say the dating pool will get deeper.


As a transplant to NYC from a small southern town my dating life increased for the better, but dating in a big, fast paced and ever-changing city does have its setbacks.


You can meet more out and attractive members of LGTBQ community but are you willing to take two trains and maybe a bus to get to them?


Below are a few comparisons on dating in small city vs. dating in big city.



Distance…close but not close enough


When you’re dating someone in a smaller city getting to them is usually pretty easy. You make plans with bae and you most likely hop in your car, pick them up and head out on your date. In a big city like NYC, that is home to more than 7 million people 5 Burroughs and the fact you most likely will have to rely on public transportation, can make relationship with someone within a 20 mile radius seem long-distance. I have spent more time coordinating location for a date than I have on the actual date.


Closets are for Clothes
When I lived in small town as a gay in a conservative city it hindered my dating life. First dates are already awkward and the feeling of everyone staring at doesn’t help NYC it’s quite the opposite. Living in a city that is large accepting and caters to LGBTQ. Dating as member of the LGBTQ community in larger more progressive cities gives you an exciting back drop get to know someone without having to hide or feel like a zoo animal.



Even Online Dating is Different


Everyone has an app, but I’ve learned people approach their use differently depending on if they’re in small town or big city. For example when I was living in Baton Rouge, Louisiana people were looking at apps like Jack’d or Grindr for their next hookup (of course) but also to confirm their next their crush played for the same team. After swearing off apps like Jack’d and Grindr I was urged by friend to get back on them when I moved to NYC. Mainly because people actually use them for actual dates and to make friends in the area so it can be pretty helpful to a new kid in town. I’m not saying people don’t use them to hook up, but New Yorkers are aggressive and if they see something they want, most likely they’ll go after it


The Workplace: Your guide to the City


Even in 2016 some companies haven’t gotten with times an can still fire and employee based on their sexual orientation. Bigger cities are home to the headquarters of to some of the   best companies to work for if you’re a member of the LGBTQ community. (Click here to see a list). Obviously you can meet your potential bae, but dating in the workplace will be another article. Also having LGBTQ coworkers can be a great asset as they can help you learn the ins and outs of not only the company, but also the city (best places for singles, clubs, restaurants). When you can be out where you work and have coworkers who are like you it make your work experience better and make you a better employee.

What do you think?


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