Peter L. Berger said, “Change the way you feel inside your body … loving your body is not about how you look, but about how you feel about having a body and living in your body.”
I think that’s a great way to approach how you view yourself and you can develop a DEEPER self-love because self-hate is a real thing that can gain traction and ruin your experience in these self-celebration streets.
How often do you see someone and automatically “wish” you could be more like THEM? Or, the “if only I had xyz traits like her/him” — that wishing to BE something and someone that you are NOT can be detrimental and could be an indication that you have fallen victim to self-hate. No matter how much you wished YOU looked different you won’t ever live an authentic life until you embrace the skin you are in. No matter how much you long to have what someone else has, it means nothing unless you LOVE yourself first and foremost.
What makes YOU unique would not show up the same way in someone else and vice versa. The way you view yourself and talk to yourself runs your life. Have you noticed that?
Comparing yourself to others depletes your SELF-LOVE and breeds SELF-HATE.
Embracing ALL that you are, ALL that you bring to your relationships, ALL that you KNOW to be true about yourself is much more empowering. Use it as leverage to be an even better YOU. Commit to being a BETTER you simply because you can, but don’t use the benchmark of comparison to others. Love everything about you. It’s the only way to restore true balance in your life. If you allow negative thoughts to take over, the self-hate will take over. You might be in denial about this
Self-Love is the most important LOVE you will ever experience.
What can you do to ensure that you don’t fall victim to self-hate? Try the mirror exercise. Every night before you go to bed, find a mirror in your home that you can stand in front of undisturbed for a few minutes. For the first few seconds, just stand there and really look at yourself; consider your eyes, at your face, take it all in. If you’ve never done this before it will probably feel very uncomfortable and maybe even awkward, and you are going to be tempted to look away. This is a normal reaction so consider that and then try again. This time, really look into your eyes. Take a moment. Take a deep breath. Apologize to the reflection starting back at you and send yourself as much love as possible. Keep looking. See what others see when you’re out in the world. Look at your eyes, your skin, your forehead, your nose and if you’ve chosen to stand in front of a full-length mirror look at your body. Only the brave will do this exercise naked. If that’s you, go for it! Either way, you will still get powerful results if you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough and if you quiet down all that chatter in your mind telling you that you’re still not good enough.
Then say out loud to yourself “I love you” and include your name. Try to stick it out and just embrace any feelings that come up, whether positive or negative. They are just feelings and you can accept them and allow them to be. Yea, that’s possible too. Then, take it to the next level. In this moment of reflection, give yourself some props. CLAP FOR YOUR DAM SELF! Make this celebration of accepting yourself with this mirror exercise really mean something. Think about all the amazing things you’ve been able to accomplish in your life and how much of a badass you truly are. Now, say out loud, “YOUR NAME, I’m so proud for you for…… FILL IN ACCOMPLISHMENTS.” Keep doing this and come up with at least 7 things. Acknowledge and appreciate yourself and don’t fall victim to self-hate. This is your chance to break a cycle, interrupt a pattern, and go deeper.
This could be the beginning of a beautiful new journey…with YOU. I invite you to leave any reservations you have behind and finally allow yourself to love the skin you’re in, no matter what.