First of all, Candy was capital B ‘bout that life,’ but she was not a manipulative, self-serving human like Elektra. Candy only brought out the hammer when people were actually coming for her and I respect the fact that she was always ready! We never know which Elektra we will be getting each episode as she goes from heartfelt to heartless in a matter of seconds leaving me wondering… who hurt her? What this episode really highlights for me are the different ways of mothering and the impact that it has on your children. Blanca always pushes her children to do their best and at the end of the day that is all that matters. When Damon did not get the Madonna audition he didn’t feel disappointed in himself, but rather optimistic to the fact that there are more opportunities out there for him and happy to showcase his talent which speaks to the way he is being raised.
On the other hand, we see Ricky’s disappointment in himself, feeling as though he let down his family and worried about other opportunities. Elektra often operates in a way that strikes fear in her children, but she is also a great financial provider which is also an essential part of mothering. Blanca operates in a way that allows her children to feel hope and love. Who am I to say which way is the right way to raise children. I am no mother and I do not know what it feels like to experience trauma and then try to raise a number of children. They both act in a way that is right for them, but both can learn from each other. I will always have a soft spot for Elektra because she has a level of grit that is admirable, while Blanca has a level of care that is unmatched.
The dynamic between Ricky and Damon, in my opinion, depicts the ways that love and intimacy can be both toxic and beautiful. They say we all have this innate desire to be wanted and from my perspective that has been true, however, some people use their wanting to fill a void which seems to be the case for Ricky. As we know from previous episodes Ricky has experienced some difficult times and Blanca gave him a home. We saw the house of Evangelista provide him with love and support which seemed to be new for him. Damon supports his move to go on the road, but when Damon isn’t there he finds someone else to provide him love and intimacy. In this episode we see Ricky with his new boo and during their argument he mentions how he misses being uplifted by Damon which is missing from his current relationship.
Ricky, how have you changed when you were just hitting on someone two seconds before you told Damon that you broke up with the person you cheated on him with, and you confessing how much you missed Damon? I call bullshit because you miss all the things that Damon gave to you and how he made you feel, but you have yet to do any self work. Relationships are not about another person providing you healing and self-worth, particularly if you are not willing to do that work as an individual. All I have seen Ricky do is gaslight, lie and expect that all will be forgiven. If he actually took some time to self-reflective and heal I think he could be an amazing partner, but instead he is looking for others to rescue him—and clearly Damon ain’t the one.
Damon embodies what it means to truly love someone because despite Ricky hurting him, he wants nothing but the best for him. He wants Ricky to be a better person, reach his goals, and to just prosper whilst also setting clear boundaries and not being a crutch for Ricky. Often times when we think we love someone we lose ourselves in them and they become the sum of who we are. We become so attached to how a person makes us feel that we ignore how unhealthy it is to be codependent on someone else for our happiness, so let’s not be a Ricky and learn to love folks in healthy and beautiful ways.
Also still patiently waiting for Papi and Angel to potentially be an item…
Cover photo: Them.US/FX Networks