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Love Walter: When Is it Right to Propose?

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Dear Walter,

I’m a gay male. Can I ask your opinion on how soon you think is too soon to ask someone to marry you? We both have had open conversations about it, and know what each other want in a wedding. We just had our 6 month anniversary, and we live together now. At any rate, I bought the ring because he’s always mentioning it but when I talked to one of his friends/coworkers he thinks it’s too soon. Now, I’m debating to take it back? I know lots of stories of people getting married after 3 months and being happy and stay married but no, I’m just so confused and nervous.

—Dying To Get Married


Dear Dying To Get Married,

Oh wow! Congratulations on your six-month anniversary. Let’s quantify a half a year: a semester in college, half a season of network television, or a milestone for a sober chip.

 

I do understand that you want to make the right choice. But getting down on your knees this time will take on new meaning. Why the sense of urgency to rush through your relationship? Ask yourself why you need to be married? Is it for love? Is it financial? Or is it to ensure your relationship remains exclusive?

 

Years ago, I was on the precipice of presenting my prenuptial agreement. Alcohol and domestic disputes colored my relationship like a giant tattoo. Let’s not dampen your mood with my emotional baggage. Even though, I had a Saks-sized bag of bullshit.

 

I think a year would be the perfect time to pop the question. And you can do it around your actual anniversary. The holidays have a way of enhancing relationships. I know it means something because you spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and even Valentine’s Day together. You’re meant to be. What about the other half of the year? Memorial Day, Labor Day and Halloween? I get that these holidays aren’t as exciting as the winter ones. But there is a lot of fun to be had. If that doesn’t sound enticing then you know what you need to do.

 

And if you can’t wait to set the date. Then do it. This shift will change everything. Maybe there’s such a thing as a happy ending.

 

Love,

Walter


 

Dear Walter,

I only fuck around with dl guys. We dated for almost a year and I broke up with him. When we got back together all he wanted was sex. A complete asshole! One night he screamed at me, flipped out for no reason. Then he broke up with me. What should I do?

 

—Only Dates DL Men


Dear Only Dates DL Men,

I used to have a monthly diet of dl men in my 20’s. They caused me nothing but trouble. Sneaking around, never knowing when to call or hang out. Dealing with girlfriends, baby mamas and wives drained me. I had to purge and repent.

 

He sounds like the type that only wants head with the condom on, while his backpack is sitting in the corner. He thinks he’s spending the night — not happening. He’s likely using you for sex. And judging from my intuition, he isn’t even that great in bed.

 

A scream can turn into a slap real quick. No one wants to be slapped. Not even in a movie.

 

Leave that man alone.

 

Love,

Walter


Make sure to also checkout previous Love Walter columns here

Got a question? Email your letters at [email protected] His advice column will appear on Wednesday.

Walter Reed

Walter Reed is writer and advice columnist on love, lust, and life. Romance is his day job. Read more at LoveWalter.com. Follow him on Twitter @ LoveWalterHQ

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