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Love Walter:  Processing Your Past on Social Media

Love Walter

Dear Walter, 

How do you handle and ex and friends on social media? It seems like there shouldn’t be anything wrong with being friends on Facebook. But I was recently deleted by an ex and I’m wondering how I should feel about it?

—Just Wanna Be Friends


Dear Just Wanna Be Friends, 

Deleting someone on social media is the new fuck you. The first time I was deleted on Facebook and cared, was after an altercation with an ex after leaving the club. We fought in the back of the cab, and I was subsequently kicked out.

Yes, he kicked me so hard I hit the payment, sliding down the slushy streets of New York City in my new leather jacket as cars zipped by.

How romantic? Years later, we’re still not friends not even on Facebook. He recently unfollowed me on Instagram. I unfollowed him back. Yes, I have an app for that.

I had a family member who unfriended me  after a disagreement in D.C. He chased me around his Cadillac in a blue fitted cap until I stopped running. I dogged fists and expletives like a prostitute. I received one good punch in the face.

We were young, drunk and carefree.

“Fuck ya’ll. Ya’ll jumped me.”

He was quite delusional thinking someone jumped him because he got his ass whipped. I had no choice, I defended myself.

The fight started because he was drunk, as usual, and talking shit. “Shut your faggy ass up.”

“Oh hell no!”

I tried calling him to reach out after the fight. Did he need time and space to help balance his life? He could have coped better. Daily drinking didn’t fix the past, or any problems he faced in the future. He’s the catalyst to his happiness.

I longed for the days of a carefree existence filled with joy rides on summer days.

Why do my relationships whether they are with family, friends or lovers end in turmoil?

It’s the so-called friends that are the worst. I had this one girl I worked with. A thick girl with class, and aspirations to be a mobile journalist and to fit into skinny jeans. We no longer work together, and the store closed. Good riddance.

I rebranded myself, segueing from fashion expert to sexpert. I get that not everyone is going to be on board with my work. But don’t be fake about it.

“I love your stories,” she said. “It’s all about content and you have that.”

A few weeks later, she unfollowed me from Instagram. I have no room for people who aren’t going to provide a supportive environment.

Delete.

And now I no longer use social media. We can call it a social media cleanse if it makes it’s easier to stomach. My life has never been fuller. Gone are the days spent obsessing of likes, followers and status updates. I no longer care and that’s empowering. I now put that energy and focus into myself.

And when did social media become so negative?

Love,

Walter 


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