What are your thoughts about dating DL men? I think they are attractive but there is a lot of drama. There is something sexy about having someone that’s not completely yours.
—Down with the Down Low
Dear Down with the Down Low,
Dating men on the down low complicates relationships. Trying to juggle their schedules, baby mamas, wife and kids can stress any experience. But some prefer the entanglements of masculine men with good sex and double lives. Why are down low men so enticing?
The Agony and Ecstasy of Exposing Down Low Men
Markeith Rivers, the self-proclaimed down low detective, outed men on Facebook. He lured closeted guys to his car, bedroom, or motel room while the hidden camera captured his trysts.
Authorities found Guttah Kutthroat Reed dead in his home after Winters outed him on Facebook. “I would rather see a DL man kill himself than him to infect an innocent woman with HIV,” Rivers said. He was like the gay Batman—a modern day vigilante sucking dick on film to expose his victims.
These events precipitated to him getting shot. Is it wise to expose the people you’re having sex with?
Falling For My “Straight” Man
Dealing with down low men is nothing new to me. From married men to masculine morons, experimenting with gay sex—leading double lives that binged on secrets and lies— exhausted me more than sex. I dated one guy who used to come to my apartment and we would hang out. He would come over and sleep in my bed. He considered himself straight. Whenever we were out together, he would hit on girls. And would define our relationship to anyone that would listen. “This is my homeboy,” he said. “He’s gay, but I’m not.”
After the song and dance was done. He would come home with me, and begged for me to blow him. While sucking his dick I would grab his ass, he would slap my hands away. One night, while I was sleeping. He tapped me. “Walter, you up?”
“Yeah, I am now.”
“I love you.”
“Oh, lord aren’t you straight”
“Stop playin’ with me,” he said. “I love you.”
“Fine, I love you too.”
He squeezed me that night and never let go. And like that, all the girls and outside opinions didn’t matter.
Not Living for Love
Rivers wasn’t looking for love or sex. He enjoyed humiliating guys in hilarious videos under the guise of helping out women. Installing hidden videos to expose his sexual conquests for the “greater good” put him in a precarious position.
Living an honest and open lifestyle will absolve anyone of this problem. He would lose his power to expose. Was it fair for them to have their sexual performances recorded for his Facebook group while Rivers collected donations?
I prefer my men to be out and proud, free of entanglements and fear. I want my love to be out in the open for the world to see. It’s 2019, aren’t we getting a little old to be hiding in closets.
Got a question? Email your letters to [email protected]gbt.