Have you ever suffered in silence? ME TOO

This week, the #metoo movement went viral on social media with millions of women ‘posting in solidarity’ – their stories, their pain, their triumphs, their survival, their healing — the memories it brought back, the healing you were reminded of…it was powerful. It IS powerful.

Those two simple words Me Too were filled with personal power and demonstrated solidarity among those of us who have experienced sexual assault and/or harassment.

This movement was originally founded by activist Tarana Burke (a Black woman) 10 years ago primarily for women of color. The Me Too movement aims to do exactly what the recent trending topic has done on social media: unify those who’ve been victimized by sexual violence. (Source: Ebony Magazine)

As I saw the movement gain momentum all over again this week I was instantly reminded that we are as sick as our secrets. I also remembered that it was ok to DECIDE suffering in silence keeps you perpetually sick and feeling broken. And, it’s ok to CHOOSE you no longer want to feel that way.

Are you tired of walking around with old wounds while creating a new life?

Have you been wearing your emotional scars as a badge of honor secretly?


Is it because you don’t want to be judged? Is it because you don’t want to revisit those old wounds because it hurts like hell to FEEL them all over again?

The truth is — without revisiting your old wounds, you cannot create your new life.

Life keeps going with or without us choosing to heal what haunts us. The quality of life we want to live changes when we change.


Having coached so many women over the years through emotional trauma, I am privy to how much we, as women … women of color that are a part of the LGBT community hide, ignore and justify by not acknowledging their pain.

I can relate because we all have a story. I have a story. When I share mine, whether in a signature talk on stage or in a private coaching session, people often seem “surprised” at all the things I’ve gone through because I’m so ‘positive’ and because I’m a ‘life coach.’ The reason I can share so candidly when I choose is because I have been on a journey of healing, expanding and growing for a cool minute now.

The reason I became a life coach was to ensure that women like me didn’t have to suffer in silence anymore. There’s a beautiful purpose rebirthed from all of my past pain when I teach a LGBT identified woman of color how to love herself, how to see herself as powerful. It is healing to me when I get to encourage her to see her self-worth and celebrate herself. Because, in her, I see me. And in breaking the silence and showing up for each other, transformation occurs.

As women, we often struggle with connecting the dots of our old pain to our current behavior and experiences. We push back. We feel uncomfortable. We want to stay in denial. But, we are not alone. You can CHOOSE differently for yourself no matter how scary that is.

By continuing to suffer silently, it will become more painful to look in the mirror and see empty eyes staring back because the pain of the past is so overwhelming that you’re numbed out.

I know …

You’ve mastered smiling through pain.
You’ve mastered showing up when your energy is low.
You’ve mastered pretending to be strong.
You’ve mastered being in the world every day and FUNCTIONING, but no one knows how deeply you are hurting.
You’ve mastered frontin’ because you don’t want to be a burden emotionally.
You’ve mastered not wanting to be a burden, period.

Old pain. Old trauma. Old beliefs. Old programming.

How did we ever allow this to become acceptable?

Today, I invite you to extend an olive branch to yourself. Living with old pain is a burden you don’t have to bear. The answer isn’t to forget it, ignore it or numb it. The answer is in learning how to accept everything that has happened and integrate it into a new way of thinking.

Learn to deliberately create a life you deserve with radical self-love, non-negotiable self-care and unapologetic self-celebration. Learn how to reactivate your personal power and break your silent suffering once and for all. Ask me how.

What do you think?


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