Do you feel sex is the way to communicate with your lover or spouse?
—Single and Sex-Starved
Dear Single and Sex-Starved,
Oh, the highs and lows of sex, in and out sessions like these punctuate most relationships. It is essential.
You need communication to have great sex. Knowing what your lover likes and dislikes will enhance your sexual experience.
While sex with a stranger can feel like a chess match masquerading as chemistry. From eating ass to anal sex, how we do it matters. The wrong kissing techniques, teeth suction or tongue placement can obliterate oral sex. Have you noticed that sex with someone familiar will often generate a more pleasurable session?
Then there are times when none of that intellectualizing matters. I remember when I met up with a stranger on Grindr. This was when I moved in with my ex-boyfriend as a roommate because it was the mutually beneficial rental situation. I needed to desperately get off my mother’s couch while he needed to desperately pay his rent.
But at the time, he didn’t want to be with me. So I looked elsewhere. And that’s what led me to that stranger’s apartment in Silver Spring. Sex is awkward during the day, especially with someone new. White walls and white light surrounded me. He kept his place meticulously clean. He was the type who frequented the gym, with dark ripped abs and a hairy chest. He was like a chocolate Wolverine, pulverizing my body, my essence well before noon.
I asked him for a cup of ice. I needed to pour myself a cocktail. Two sips and a striptease later, he emerged from the bathroom in a towel wrapped around his waist. He unleashed himself towards me like a phallic compass. My heart sank. That was way too much penis for breakfast. But I enjoyed every morsel no matter the cost.
There I was flat on my back with legs pointed towards the sun like a power jack. Up and down, up and down he went until he released. And I was relieved it was finally over. It was fun, fleeting and fucked up at the same time.
Sex is the barometer for any relationship. Even relationships with strangers. It’s best to explore what you like and how you want it. That’s when the real power and pleasure emerges.
Let the fucking commence and don’t forget what you discover.
Make sure to also checkout previous Love Walter columns here
Got a question? Email your letters at [email protected] His advice column will appear on Wednesday.