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Screw Tinder , I’m on the league Dating App

In the third episode of Issa Rae’s new HBO sitcom Insecure, Issa’s best friend Molly  calls Issa up to share her good news; she has finally been accepted to the League, the exclusive dating app for “high-achieving” singles.



So I’m pretty sure like the rest of you, I immediately went to googling The League to see if it actually existed. Of Course it did, which is why I’m writing about it.

The League appeared to be a very desirable commodity. It was supposed to the hassle out of “swipe right” dating; Only allow people that match your preferences to see your profile, encourage people to talk to you with a 21 day message limit and help remove the fear of getting catfished. All in the coup d’état of the app dating industry making it that more palatable.

Applying was as easy as making a profile

At first, I was a little apprehensive about applying, because this would be yet another “dating” app taking space on my phone which could be used for other things.  I finally decided to take the plunge. Despite New York’s plethora of gay men walking around like models, I still think I’m a pretty good catch. Sure, I may have a little extra loving, but I think I fit the rest of Western society’s standards for beauty and success. I have a graduate degree. I have a solid career. My hand-eye coordination is on point. And, like anyone in the virtual world, I can come up with a damn witty “about me” section.

After a day or so of I was number 24,382 in the waiting list. I wasn’t going to set myself up for dissappointment because my friend who just got accepted had been in queue for a few months. Roughly about 3 weeks later I’m bumped to the front of the line and “accepted!” Holy shit! Victory! I AM good enough! Not sure what’s happened with the rest of the 24,382 others who were in front of me though.


The League Rules in a nut shell

The league provides a basic set of parameters to filter profiles, including sex, distance, age, height, ethnicity, religion, and education. For those that don’t  know me, I’m definitely heightist , so that number went to 6’2″.

Happy Hour: You get a batch of prospects at 5PM “Happy Hour” sent to you. I love this feature because it forces you to focus on who you matched with and converse. It feels like each match is special

Messaging: If you match with a person you have 21 days to initiate conversations. On the backend the League scores your profile based a various parameters and responding to matches is one of those parameters. Yay to having serious people looking to date.

Be Active: Guests of the League have to be on the app atlas once every three weeks to maintain an account. So no longer waiting for that cute guy to finally decide to login and swipe right to match with you.

So happy I got accepted to the League. Pissed off that it was right in during the preparation stages for my trip to Zanzibar ( almost two weeks)……

My first match (from out of town)

I swipe on a very great looking guy and we begin to talk and I find out that he’s from DC (#bummer). But I decided to still talk to him b/c I  thought trying something different may get me better results. I mean heck, I said I wouldn’t do long distance before and haven’t gotten anywhere. The great thing with my first match was that he was making a trip up to NY in a week. We had an awesome time and I’m going to head down to DC in a week to see him. Fingers Crossed.

My second match (should have been the first)

When I first matched with my matches, I was a a few days away from going out of the country. So my second match took a while to meet, with his schedule and mine.  When we finally had time, we decided to go on a coffee date. In person he did look a little different than his pictures but we had a great 3 hour conversation. I thought it was going on well. But, I haven’t heard back from him.

I say this all to say… the hunt continues…

At the end of the day and no matter where you find them, there are people who rock and people who suck. The League is yet another tool distracting from your loneliness. I love it because it different and it’s gets people to be serious about dating. Add it to your app lineup, but don’t expect unicorns. This is still New York.

What do you think?


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