Can You Come Back From A Break With Your Partner?

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You and bae were a fairytale couple. But for some reason you never made it to happily ever after.

Is there any chance that you and bae will get back together?

Should you and bae get back together?

How to Have the Best Chance of Getting Back Together:

Surprisingly, whether you get back together has less to do with your ex and more to do with how well you’ve broken up.

(Note: If you’re saying, “We didn’t break up! We’re just taking a break!” I have bad news for you. You broke up.)

All breakups are not made equally. Sure you and bae “broke up,” but did you do it the right way?

Don’t be friends.

Sure, you and bae decided to just be friends for a while. But if you ever want to get back with them, drop the friends part. Cut off all contact.

If you two stay in touch, you’ll never really get a chance to move on, heal and become your own person, which is what breaks are all about. A part of them will always be part of you and, if you still have any feelings for them, those feelings will subconsciously cloud your decisions.

Don’t chill.

The sex you and bae had was amazing, and no one knows your body like bae does. What’s wrong with inviting them over to chill every once in a while?

Everything. Everything is wrong with that.

No matter how good bae is in bed, there’s someone out there who will be better. Go find them.

Drop the closure.

You might think that getting closure with them will help you finally cauterize the hole in your heart so that you can move on. There’s just one problem:

Closure doesn’t exist.

There will always be one more question you can ask them, one more doubt you have, one more thing to “unpack” together. And if you think that your ex will tell the entire truth – or that you will tell the entire truth – then you’re kidding yourself. Chasing closure will drive you crazy, because you’ll never fully feel it.

Decide, “It’s over, and that’s the best thing right now.” There. You just gave yourself closure.

Don’t drag your baggage into every new relationship.

Rebound relationships sound great – you’re dating someone new! That proves you’re over your ex, right? Wrong. By definition, you’re in a rebound relationship because you broke up, which means that everything about your new relationship is tied to your old relationship.

Take time to collect yourself, so that when you finally date again, it has nothing to do with your ex.

Don’t stalk.

It’s not stalking if your ex’s photos just happen to pop up on your Instagram feed, right? Or if their tweets just happen to appear in your timeline?

I agree. So block them. On everything.

You’ll never truly move on if you can see that they’re out partying at the club you used to go to, or that they’re posting too many photos with that person they swore was just a “friend,” or if they’re Snapchatting home-cooked food and you know they don’t cook which means that “friend” is probably cooking for them.

Deep breath.

Just block them. It’s easier. It will preserve your sanity.

Don’t get revenge on them.

I know you want to. Just…don’t.

How To Know If You Two Should Get Back Together:

Okay, so you’ve broken up the right way and some time has passed. Now that you’ve grown up, become your own person and played the field a bit, you might be wondering: Is it time to give your old relationship another shot?

Here are the signs that you should consider dating again.

Enough time has passed.

There’s no “right” or “wrong” amount of time to wait before trying to get back with bae, but one week usually isn’t enough.

Are you more mature now? Have you had time to think about your relationship, move on from it and grow as a person? Do you feel more secure in who you are and what you want?

And have they truly moved on from you? It might be hard to tell. But if they kept begging you to come back, leaving passive-aggressive comments on your photos, or inviting you to sleep over throughout the entirety of your breakup, then it sounds like they still have some growing up to do.

Nobody does it like bae.

If you’ve truly explored all of your options and realize that no one is right for you the way bae was right for you, then it’s okay to want them back. But at the same time…

You’re ready for a brand new relationship.

If you’re running back to bae because they’re familiar and you hope to pick up where you left off, you’re in for a rude awakening.

If you’ve both fully moved on, then when you get back together you’ll both be different than you were before – which is good! That’s the whole point of breaking up. If you were the same, then you’d just break up again.

But that means that your relationship with them will be entirely new. It’s less “getting back together with an ex” and more “dating someone new who happens to be your ex.”

You’ve solved the problems.

Some problems are more easily fixed than others. If you broke up because you don’t do long-distance relationships, then it makes sense to date when you’re in the same city.

But if you broke up because they were untrustworthy, then it’s hard to tell if they mean it when they say they’ve “changed.” Ask for three references and a letter of recommendation.

So can you do it?

You can definitely get back together with an ex. In fact, 44% of people aged 17-24 have gotten back together with an ex sometime in the past two years.

Does it always work out? No. But if you truly take the time to grow up, move on and fix the problems that split you up in the first place, then you and bae could get the happily ever after that you wanted.

 

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