Are You Dating One Of The Beautifuls?
We all dream about dating really attractive people. The guy with the chiseled jawline and 8-pack abs. The girl who looks and dances like Beyoncé. And Beyoncé herself.
But what happens when you actually get to date the person of your dreams? Unfortunately, it’s not always smooth sailing.
Dating someone more attractive than you is harder than it looks. You need to hear some hard truths.
Hard truth #1: You’re insecure.
You’re not as attractive as your partner. That is why, objectively, they are one of the beautifuls, and you aren’t quite there yet.
Don’t: Don’t let your insecurities ruin the relationship. Don’t constantly put yourself down. Stop telling yourself that this is all some cosmic joke, and that it’s only a matter of time before bae wakes up and realizes they’ve been sleeping next to a troll.
Do: Believe bae when they say they love you and are attracted to you. Maybe to them, you are one of the beautifuls. And even if you’re not conventionally attractive, bae sees something amazing in you. Believe them.
Hard truth #2: Other people will hit on your partner. A lot.
Sometimes there will be friendly flirting by someone who doesn’t realize bae is taken. Sometimes there will be unfriendly flirting by someone who thinks they’re better than you and can steal bae away. It’s not fun, but it’s reality, so get used to random people ogling your partner.
Don’t: Don’t be overcome with jealousy. Don’t lash out at the people who stare or wink, and don’t become paranoid and jealous about your partner.
Do: Lay out some ground rules, such as asking bae to refuse if someone offers their number. And, hard as it might be, trust bae. People have been approaching them their entire life. They’re not suddenly going to run off with a stranger just because the stranger winked.
Hard truth #3: You’ll think beauty is everything.
Bae isn’t smart. But they’re hot. Bae isn’t friendly. But they’re hot. Bae isn’t particularly interesting. But they’re hot. And that’s what matters most, right? When bae is one of the beautifuls, you’ll be tempted to overlook their lack of other attractive qualities.
Don’t: Don’t prioritize beauty over everything. Don’t forget that not only does beauty fade, but relationships also fade, and several months into a relationship when the shock of their beauty has worn off, you’ll want to actually like the person sleeping beside you.
Do: Make a list of the things that you want in a partner – a good job, high aspirations and a strong religious basis, for example. And if your partner doesn’t have that, kick them to the curb no matter how hot they are. You’ll find someone better.
Hard truth #4: You’ll be blinded by their beauty.
Beautiful people get away with just about everything. That’s just science. If someone is more attractive, then we as humans are hardwired to give them more privileges, including the benefit of the doubt, even when they don’t deserve it.
Don’t: Don’t allow bae to mistreat you. Don’t accept cheating or abuse just because bae happens to be a 10.
Do: If bae is a narcissist who uses you, abuses you and says things like, “You’re lucky to be with me,” dump them. If bae constantly belittles you, dump them. If bae cheats on you and expects you to forgive them instantly, dump them. When in doubt, ask yourself, “If bae wasn’t attractive, would I let them treat me this way?”
We all want to date arm candy. After all, what’s the point of dating someone if they can’t get you thousands of IG likes? (Kidding.) (Kind of.)
But remember that looks aren’t everything. Maintain your self-esteem, check your jealousy at the door and make sure bae treats you like an equal.