It is common knowledge that lesbian relationships sometimes move a bit faster than most. Different people have different opinions as to why this happens: women are more emotional, women are smooth and know exactly what to do and what to say, women are more free and honest with their feelings, etc. Whatever the case is, even in a lesbian relationship, there are times when things can move a little too fast. Here are the top seven signs, in my opinion, that you, or someone you know is a U-haul lesbian.
- You are quick to give your relationship a title. You are the type of person who, after the second date, you are ready to make things “official” and give the person you are seeing an official title. There is nothing wrong with checking in with the person you are dating to make sure that you are both on the same page as far as expectations and to make sure that you both have the same intentions and relationship goals. However, give things a little more time to develop, sometimes the best period of a relationship is the “getting to know you” stage, don’t rush it!
- Pre-mature social media posting. Okay, so we all know that person. Every 6 months or so, this person is posting about a fresh break up followed by another new boo. Don’t be that guy! (or girl). Yes, a brand new relationship is very exciting. You feel refreshed, you have a renewed sense of love and fulfillment. But save the lovely dubby social media posts, you’re starting to look quite stupid. By no means should you live your life in hiding, or care what others think, but put it this way. Social media is like the credit report of your social life. Your posts (and relationships) are your credit cards. If you are building a track record of maxing out and then opening new lines of credit, you are painting a picture of irresponsibility and impulsiveness. Cut it out.
- You drop the L word too soon. Love is a beautiful thing. It is the most beautiful thing to see, feel, and enjoy. Of course, there are times when we can feel the love growing for someone we are dating but those four letters also come with a lot of responsibility and should be used wisely. If you are the first to say “I love you,” in all of your relationships, maybe you are a bit of a U-haul. Pump the breaks, and really reflect on whether or not this new found love will sustain the first few arguments, bad days, and disagreements. There is no specific time line for the right time to say it but save your “I Love Yous” for the relationship that stands the test of time and circumstance, not just the first person who makes you forget about your last ex.
- You have the U-haul truck on reserve. The cardinal sin that has coined the term “U-haul Lesbian” is the fact that lesbian relationships seem to escalate to domestic partnerships in no time. Although this may be true, that does not mean that it is healthy. Sharing a home is a huge step. Your home is your sacred space, and should be treated as such. If you do not know enough about your hubby’s habits, then you are not ready to pack that U –haul truck. How do they handle finances, do they pay bills on time, are they clean, are they a morning person, do they like to host get togethers, is their home the chill spot for the homies? These are all things that you need to know beyond a reasonable doubt before moving in and I’m not talking about hearing the answers from them, you have to know from experience from paying attention to the way they move and handle things. It takes time. Make the move too fast and before you know it, you will be packing that same U-haul up with your belongings and a long list of regrets.
- Planning your life together. Now let’s be clear, it is always good to know how your partner feels about their future and other essential life milestones such as children, marriage, and home ownership. These things are important in figuring out if you are on the same page with the person you are dating. But definitely do not start planning the wedding or naming your imaginary children during the honeymoon period (first three months). Not only is this a U-haul tendency, but it is also a distraction, allowing your mind to get wrapped up in a fairy tale life that has yet to happen (not that it won’t) but focus on the foundation of your relationship before planning too far into the future.
- Ditching your friends. I have definitely been guilty of this, to which I hang my head in shame. Meet a great woman, hit it off, get into a relationship, and then it happens. That person then becomes the main focus, not in a way that makes me abandon my responsibilities, but in a way that I find myself filling any and every second of available time with that person’s presence. Whether it is talking on the phone every night, or seeing them every weekend, try your best not to fall into the habit of allowing your world to revolve around your partner. It is important for both parties to have separate groups of friends, and family events that they go to on their own. You do not have to be attached at the hip just because you are in a relationship with someone, spread the love! Make time for family and friends, they love you too! And will be the ones to keep you grounded and hold you accountable for how you are showing up in your relationship. Having this balance is key, although sometimes hard when you’ve been struck by Cupid’s arrow, but allow yourselves to miss each other. It’s worth it.
- U-haul Gifting. You are a U-haul lesbian if you are guilty of this. I know that being in a new relationship around holiday time can be tricky but read this carefully, because this is something that I can not and will not be debated on: there are levels to gift giving in relationships. I once fell victim to a U-haul partner (or two) and let me tell you, this is a tell-tale sign. I was dating a woman for about two months and it was Christmas time. For my birthday (which is ten days before Christmas), she sent me flowers which I loved and thought was quite cute and thoughtful. The gift was appropriate and fit the occasion and level of our relationship. Ten short days later, the U-haul in her, reared its ugly head. What was my gift you may ask? A fleece blanket with our pictures on it! Not only was it ridiculously early for such a gift but, we had only taken like three pictures together (all on the same night I might add), and you guessed it! ALL 3 were on the blanket along with individual pictures of the both of us from our social media pages. It goes without saying that I was creeped out by this U-haul gift and somehow it found its way in the trash (don’t judge me folks). A more appropriate gift at that stage of the relationship could have been a small Bluetooth shower radio (which is what I gave her) an edible arrangement, or even a Snuggie for crying out loud. Please, do not give anything too personal or too expensive, let the relationship mature first, you may freak your partner out.