Let’s define ASKhole. Simply put, it’s someone who constantly asks for advice, but always does the opposite of what you tell them to do. Basically, a KNOW-IT-ALL.
You’ve been there, haven’t you? Dealing with a person who literally comes to you for help, advice, answers … but they are very much stuck in doing things their way even though their way hasn’t worked and probably never will. Take a deep breath. This is probably going to be a bumpy ride…. until you can get off the roller coaster, that is.
It requires a lot of patience on your end because you can already see how it will end. You already know that they aren’t willing to budge, yet they want you to perform a miracle anyway and resolve everything for them even though they really aren’t going to listen to anything you say. Where they do that at? I can speak to this from the point of view of being a life coach who goes against the grain often with my techniques and tools. I’ve been doing this for almost a decade with thousands of clients who have transformed their lives. I don’t allow my clients to spiral even when it’s their desire to do so some of the time.
Truth is they can’t see what I see because they are IN the situation and stuck IN their story unfortunately. It’s like they want you to validate the things they keep doing wrong, but no ma’am, I’m not here for that. I didn’t step into my purpose to be a puppet.
Even if you aren’t a life coach, it’s inevitable that you may still encounter someone like this. We call these folks “know-it-all ASKholes”
And, when you encounter someone like this, quickly you realize that they will more than likely turn everything around on you (even though your hope is that they wouldn’t stoop so low). Somehow, instead of being accountable for themselves, they try to hold YOU accountable for their insanity (insanity = doing the same things repeatedly expecting a new result).
5 very important lessons learned after interacting with an ASKhole:
- Don’t bother trying to help. It’s hopeless. They’ll nod and smile, even tell you THANK YOU when you share empathy for their situation. But the moment you go in a different direction and express REAL solutions, they will shut it down. It’s a wrap. They aren’t here for that. They are here for a self-imposed agenda. And, please believe they will get angry — ignorant even when you don’t go down the rabbit hole with them. They will never see that it’s THEM blocking the solutions they are seeking. It will always be YOU that “doesn’t get it.” Run now! Let them go. There will be no progress when dealing with a know-it-all.
- Never use logic or facts. They know it all, remember? They are not here for you to use logic or anything else that may make sense because they are not willing to look in the mirror and deal with the real challenge — themselves. They don’t care about what you really think. They like to do things their way even if nothing comes of it. Almost makes you wonder why you even thought logic would work in your interaction. Lesson learned. A know-it-all doesn’t appreciate logic, research, wisdom, experience or anything else that may have worked for millions of other people. Because, in the narcissistic world of a know-it-all, you’ll always be wrong which means until they learn the lesson for themselves, it will feel like talking to a brick wall. Run now!
- Never let their opinion of you make you second guess yourself. Take NOTHING personal. See, the thing with a know-it-all is they will try to smear your character after the fact. They will do their best to speak negatively of you and even though you know they can’t define who you KNOW you are, you might for a moment question yourself. That is UNTIL you remember that they live in a world of self-sabotage to begin with and bringing you down is just another part of their process of hiding from real solutions. If you accept their negative backlash, they get to feel better about themselves. Except, you already know the inevitable will happen because a know-it-all is always closed off and that means little growth is possible. You can only pray for them. Do that. Do that often. Pray……but also, run now!
- You attracted this know-it-all into your life for a reason, don’t forget to learn a lesson. I know for a FACT that nothing happens by way of a coincidence. We attract what we need for our journey to evolve. So, when you attract a know-it-all, check yourself first and foremost. Is this an opportunity to stand up for yourself? To use your voice? To do things differently? To heed red flags from jump? Whatever it is, there is a lesson in there for you. Make sure you pay attention. But, don’t forget…. still run now!
- Run…now! Yup, it’s my final lesson. Thank the Universe for being a great manifester. Often, you’ll see the red flags, do nothing and hope it just fixes itself as far as the know-it-all being swooped up and out of your life. But even though you KNOW that you should run, you wait. Then, here comes the Universe being all Olivia Pope’sh…. it’s handled! Though you may not follow your intuition initially to RUN for the hills, the Universe will always show up and show out based on your true desire which is to cut energy ties, learn the lesson and NEVER repeat it again. Wheeeeeew! Universe, I see you — good looking out!
Please understand that life is filled with ASKholes (know-it-alls) and it’s often hard to decipher who is who at first. But, it never fails, the true colors of a know-it-all will always shine through. It always does. They can’t help it. They know it all, remember?
It’s unfortunate because these people do know a lot, but it’s their approach, their demeanor, their unwarranted negativity, their ego …. all that and more that doesn’t allow them to forge healthy relationships, even one with themselves. If you know it all, you can’t possibly allow anyone else in because you won’t ever trust that another person may know more than you or at least more in some areas you are not as well versed.
Don’t wait for any more signs. Just do yourself a favor and run…. now!
It’s called FREEDOM. And, there is much gratitude in being able to close the door to that energy draining chapter. Book closed. Lesson learned.